An Astrological Hurdle in the Marital Path
In the
nature’s scheme of things, all men are shaped to husband any maiden, who in
turn is endowed to become the wife of every man there is biologically speaking that
is. But the marital selection by restriction, based on race, caste, creed etc. brought
about a homogenous order for possible matrimonial harmony. Nonetheless, it put
paid to the free leanings of the young hearts across those man-made boundaries
(Sarat’s tragic tale of Devdas and Parvathi comes to mind) but despite its insensitivities
towards the lovers, this social imposition, by and large, had been serving its
marital cause rather well. But now, as the newly erected astrological hurdle,
relatively speaking that is, in the form of matching the horoscopes for
compatibility of the prospective couples in the Telugu marital course, I am
familiar with (more or less same may be the case in the Indian panorama), is
proving to be debilitating, its review seems overdue.
As a
teen privy to the matchmaking in the sixties of the last century, I vouch for
the fact that the hearsay about the bride’s family and the lure of the dowry,
not necessarily in that order, that is apart from her ‘heard of’ looks, were
the prime movers for setting the marital ball rolling. I was also an eyewitness
to many instances of the groom’s father seeking the bride’s horoscope at the
end of the bride-seeing (pellichupulu),
to be used as a ruse to negate the proposal in case of a new-found disaffection
on the ground. Nothing surprising about that as most of the marriages up to
that generation, and even beyond for a while, were consanguine, solemnized, on
many an occasion, by the elders’ word of honour, much before the groom and the
bride came into being, never mind their horoscopes, as and when prepared.
Whatever,
though astrology was the in thing in the puranic
age for Maharshi Vasishtha had fixed the muhurtam for Rama’s coronation, that went askance any way, but Sage
Vishwamitra bothered to match neither the horoscopes of Rama and Seetha nor
that of Lakshmana and Urmila for their marital compatibility. Moreover, Janaka,
the Wisest among the Kings of yore (Krishna in Bhagvad- Gita advised Arjuna to
“Lead
mankind in Janaka’s route / To moksha en route deeds selfless” (Ch 3, V20), did not
deem fit to match his daughter Seetha’s horoscope with all those whom he had invited
for her swayamvaram. That being the
case, as our ancients, as well as our grandparents, while laying store in
astrology as such gave no credence to matching the horoscopes of the
prospective couples, it can be inferred that they either saw it as a futile
exercise in our destiny-driven life or were unable to access the astrological tools
to coordinate it with the marital hardware. However, strangely, with the advent
of the computer science, the modern astrologers began to fancy that they could foresee
the marital course of the referrals though with unforeseen consequences.
Things
astrological have come to such a pass that only the ‘matched horoscopes’ have
become the gate-passes for an entry into the arena of marital proposals that
otherwise acquired a modern setting with progressive décor. Be that as it may,
if only the astrological assurances have the final say in the matter, still one
can celebrate the modern astrologers as the new ushers in the marital arena.
However, in reality, while the well-meaning parents use the allegedly
incompatible horoscopes as filters, the compatible ones too fail to catalyze
the alliances on their own, which double jeopardy effectually makes these
astrologers as bouncers. What is puzzling is that the ‘better aware’ modern youth
too are invariably going through the astrological rigmarole that tends to
extend the unwelcome lien on their bachelorhood or maidenhood as the case may
be.
It
is Havelock Ellis who said that for any boy or girl, in any given station of
life, there can only be four matches to choose from,
and as life would have it, they have to find one of them in the melee of the ever
growing populace. Given the futility of pursuing the illusory path of
speculative compatibility, it is imperative for the parents to revert to their
ancestral route to try to find the first one out of the ‘matching four’ for
their children in the flower of their youth and not past their prime. Besides,
they cannot be oblivious to the fact that many astrologer-certified nuptial knots
are being routinely untied in the divorce suits. It is also high time for all to
note that the astrologers too have not factored in these empirical evidences in
their predictions for they continue to draw the compatibility charts with their
failed premises. Thus it is for the parents to ponder how they can stake their
children’s marital prospects on such unfounded advices.
So,
what’s the way out of this ticklish marital tangle?
Strange
though it may seem, it’s astrological to start with if one believes in it, and
all said and done, this exercise is for them only. Given that the planetary
positions in the seventh house in one’s horoscope carries his or hers marital
package, he, or she is bound to take that person as spouse who would unpack it
to meet his or her destiny. So, even if one were inclined to marry someone who
won’t enable him or her to meet his or her destiny that match wouldn’t fructify
for one reason or the other. It’s thus;
the blah-blah of astrological compatibility is just much ado about nothing.
Hence, the unfounded parental fear of a mismatch sans their astrologer’s
approval is unwarranted, and indeed their astrological belief must make the elders
realize that their kin’s marital package can be unpacked only by that spouse
who has the wherewithal for that. As for the youth, the sooner they extricate
themselves from the astrologers’ compatibility quagmire the better it is for
them as then and only then they would be able to marry in time to make the best
of their destined life.
Labels: Arranged marriages, Astrological beliefs, Culture, Indian society, Marriages, Social norms, Sociology, Telugu matrimony